


Where do we go from here?

by thing1_mea



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Conversations, F/M, Kindness, M/M, Moving On, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:27:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29184750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thing1_mea/pseuds/thing1_mea
Summary: After the world calms down some Steve and Bucky have a talk about the future in regards to their past.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers
Kudos: 20





	Where do we go from here?

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this the summer after endgame came out but never published it. It was kind of my way of justifying what Steve did at the end. The conversation I wished he'd had with Bucky. I still don't know that I think he made the right decision or that it was the right decision for his story, but this brought me some peace

Steve sat outside. They'd placed a bench in Tony's name along the edge of the water. There was one for Natasha and one for Vision on either side. They'd been gifts from a fundraiser that gained millions after the second snap. Near the compound a few miles away there was a two-story statue depicting the trio. A 20-foot tall statue was more Tony's style. It was Pepper's idea. 

Steve flipped the compass over in his hand. She was within reach and he was doing nothing. For years he'd wished for a way to travel back in time and make it up to her. To give her the dance she deserved. He had helped bring everyone else back to life. He'd healed so many broken hearts. Now he had the power to go back and heal hers. He could heal his own. 

The soft patter of jogging broke him out of his thoughts. He glanced up, expecting to see Sam or Bucky. He saw both. The soldiers were running in perfect sync. He nodded to them and raised his arm in a loose salute. Both men saluted back, though Bucky rolled his eyes a bit as he did so. 

As the men got closer Steve turned his attention out to the water. It was a relatively still day. Unconsciously he shut the compass. His thumb ran over the shallow markings on the brass casing. 

Bucky slowed down as he got near the bench. He waved on Sam who shrugged and kept running. Bucky sat down in silence and looked out over the water. He didn't know what Steve was seeing but he doubted it was in 2023. He seemed to be forever chasing 1945. Bucky, however torturously, had lived for a hundred years, but Steve's eyes looked older. They betrayed his young body. 105 years of war and battle shone dully in their reflection. For the first time in his life, Bucky thought steve looked tired. 

"Go get her Steve," He said. 

Steve said nothing for a moment. Just sat considering his options. After several seconds of silence, he shook his head and looked down at his lap. "I can't Buck. We just got all this back. What kind of hero walks away and doesn't help clean up. I need to help get the world back on its feet." 

Bucky nodded. He'd expected this, but Steve would never let himself be happy knowing she was out there. "So stay for a week, a month. Let this new team of heroes get on our feet and then go find her." 

A small smile appeared on Steve's lips. He'd never heard Bucky refer to himself as a hero. Not since the forties at least. "Bucky I can't leave you, I just got you back again." 

Bucky sighed, "I get that Steve. But you love her." 

The words hung in the air with their unspoken past. The double dates to cover up confused kisses. The stir in Bucky's stomach as they rode the Ferris wheel that had had nothing to do with the heights. The night Steve angrily kicked Bucky out when he suggested the impossible: a future. 

He'd screamed and yelled and Bucky had nearly left the empty apartment Steve's parents left him. Then Steve's voice went quiet. Sad and dejected he'd whispered, "It's not that I don't love you, Buck. You've got to know that. But life's already got too many strikes against me. I can't give it another one." 

So bucky dropped it. 

They continued to go on double dates. The girls were on one side of the booth. The boys were on the other. Both pairs held hands beneath the table. Bucky never brought up the future again. 

They both joined the war effort. When Steve found him in the torture chamber they'd both changed. They were different people. The scrawny kid from Brooklyn he'd fallen in love with had changed, and Bucky had to. Bucky watched during the meetings as Steve fell more and more in love with Peggy Carter. Every time either one of them took command the other could do nothing but look on with intense love and respect. 

"You know," Steve said, snapping Bucky out of his memory, "I did love you." 

"I know." 

"But we changed Bucky. Neither of us came out of that war the same as we went in. Not to mention the decades since then." 

"I know that too." 

Steve's observations sat among them for a while before he spoke again, "You wouldn't consider coming with me. Would you?"

Bucky laughed a little, "Back to the ‘40s? Not a chance."

"Why not?" There was still a little bit of hope left in his voice. 

Bucky shook his head, "Modern society is better for me." 

Steve said nothing but gave him a curious look. 

"You fell in love with a woman Steve," He sighed defeatedly, "I can't do that." 

Steve nodded and they fell into an uncomfortable silence. 

"Besides," he added with a smirk, "Who'll look after the goats in Wakanda?" 

Steve laughed, "I guess. And Sam?" 

Bucky smirked, "Well I think he can look after himself. But if you want I can feed him too?" 

A proper laugh, "That's not what I meant Buck." 

Bucky considered this while he watched the soldier who had nearly completed his solitary lap. He smiled wistfully. "Who knows," He stood up, "Some Wakandan shrink told me to take it one day at a time." 

Steve smiled as Sam passed and Bucky fell into step with him. The pair jogged away. Steve flipped his compass open again and looked at her face. He smiled at her, shut the compass again, stood up, and walked away in the opposite direction. 

"So," Sam turned to Bucky, "What did you two grandpas talk about?" 

"You," he replied.

"Yeah?" He asked with a whimsical air, "All good things?" 

"Sure, Steve said all good things."

"Huh, and you?" 

"Well, Steve told me not to repeat the words I used," He smirked. 

"A likely story. But really. Looked serious. Everything all right?" 

Bucky thought for a moment, "Yeah, I think we're both finally gonna get on with our lives." 


End file.
